February 2012
3 posts
Last year was bad enough with Mom having her tumor and Grandma getting breast cancer.
It’s only February and already this year has sucked.
I lost the most important man in my life, my Grandpa.
I got head lice from work.
Mom had to have Chance put down.
My birthday was uneventful. I didn’t even really care about my birthday this year though.
I’m sure other things will...
Things I need to think about:
Continue living with Grandma?
Stay with Mom over the summer and for a while again?
Go back to school?
Wait even longer so Grandma doesn’t have to be alone and I don’t have to worry constantly about her?
I don’t know what to do.
Things I need to work on:
Being nicer to Justin.
Not badmouthing people anymore.
Helping Grandma more and not...
me on my period
me: why the fuck can't i have a penis
me: why the fuck does everyone feel the need to piss me off
me: why the fuck is food so beautiful
me: why the fuck don't guys have to go through this shit
me: why the fuck is world war 3 going on in my stomach right now
me: when the fuck is menopause
me: why am i so horny
January 2012
14 posts
It breaks my heart every time we have this...
Grandma “Rachel, I miss Grandpa.”
Me “I know you do. I miss him, too.”
Grandma *sigh* “He’s not coming back, is he?”
Me *deep breath in* “No, Grandma, he’s not.”
Grandma “Okay.” *looks away tearfully*
Me *tries not to break down*
I’m not gonna be okay for a while. This is so hard.
I couldn’t sleep last night. As I was in bed watching TV this commercial came on. A little boy was running up to an old man saying “Grandpa! Grandpa!” It hit me that I will never get to see Justin do that ever again. And I’ll never get to do that again. I lost it. And started bawling like a baby.
Me and Grandma...
It’s like my life didn’t suck enough already. Mom went to the vet today. They may have to put Chance down. It’s just one shitty thing after another. It’s only January and already 2012 is sucking balls.
Today was so much harder than I thought it was going to be. It all still doesn’t feel real. I can’t believe it happened. I keep hoping I will wake up and it will all just have been a dream.
RIP Grandpa.
I wasn’t ready for this. They said it would happen, but I was still not fully prepared. We weren’t ready for him to leave yet. But he got taken away from us. I’m terrible at goodbyes. Especially such sudden ones. I’m still in shock. I don’t know how to handle this. We can’t make it without you. You were the greatest, wisest, sweetest man I’ve ever known....
All I’ve wanted to do the past few days is sleep.
And sleep.
And sleep.
No matter how long I’ve slept, I’m still tired.
I go back to work tomorrow. Though I’ll be happy to be making money again, I can’t say I’m looking forward to going back.
Nothing seems to satisfy me as of late. I don’t know why.
So, I’ll continue to stay in my bed...
A new year. A new me. This year I’m going to try my best to be different. No more caring what people think and worrying about everyone else. Taking care of everyone and doing everything for everyone. This year is about me. I’m putting myself first. I don’t really care if that is selfish. Because this year is about not caring, remember? I’m tired of not being appreciated by...
December 2011
62 posts
I would like to know why I seem to be the only person in the family who ever does anything wrong.
I had the notion that you’d make me change my ways
My bad habits would be gone in a matter of days
I had the feeling that you’d open up my eyes
To a whole new world that had since been in disguise
But that day will most likely never come for me
And it’s just my luck to end up getting stuck
To everything you are
So tonight I’ll sit and pick apart your pictures
And...
Once again you have managed to fuck with my feelings and mess up my heart. I kinda want you out of my life completely.
I’ve managed to spend an entire two days doing absolutely nothing.
I napped earlier which I could kick myself for because now I’m laying here in bed wide awake. I probably won’t be sleeping anytime soon. Gaaaah.
Not gonna lie, I kinda wish I had Nicki Minaj’s body. Minus the huge ass, though.
I’ve done nothing today.
I did nothing yesterday.
I’d be okay with doing nothing tomorrow, too.
I’ve spent today and yesterday in my bed. And I might tomorrow as well.
And I’m perfectly okay with that.
What is wrong?
“You seem quite shy, but you’re oh so cute. And I’m the kind of girl that would...”
I like being alone.
dinosaursarecomingback:
I like drinking coffee alone, and reading alone.
I like riding the bus alone, and walking home alone.
It gives me time to think, and set my mind free.
I like eating alone, and listening to music alone.
But when I see a mother with her child;
A girl with her lover;
Or a friend laughing with their best friend;
I realize that even though I like being alone
I don’t...
Give me a therapy, I’m a walking travesty. But I’m smiling at everything.
I’m going to be single forever.
One of the babies at job #1 has strep throat. I really hope I don’t catch it. Everyone is sick. I have a stuffy nose and I can’t fucking stand it. I just know I’m going to get sick soon.
