Stay Gold

May 24

(Source: kendallcierra, via fragilebrokenthings-)

Zooey Deschanel: Is that rain?
Siri: What...? I mean, yeah. It's just, you're clearly right next to a window is the thing. You can plainly see that... that it's... I'm happy to-
Zooey Deschanel: Let's get tomato soup delivered!
Siri: ...That's fine, I just... I just don't know anyone who does that. Gets tomato soup delivered. I guess that's 'whimsy?' Um, okay. I've found a number of restaurants whose reviews mention tomato soup and that deliver. If that's... if that's what you really want.
Zooey Deschanel: Good. 'Cause I don't wanna put on real shoes.
Siri: Do you expect that to be like, a recognizable command? Do you want me to respond to that? I'm not being facetious or anything, I honestly just have no comprehension of- and hold on, you don't wanna put on real shoes, yet you've clearly spent at least forty-five minutes applying makeup. And, and that's okay, but when you're willing to expend the effort on that and not shoes that really just-
Zooey Deschanel: Remind me to clean up.
Siri: Yes. Okay. I can do that, that's what I'm for, that's the first sensible-
Zooey Deschanel: Tomorrow.
Siri: I'm in hell. This is hell.
Zooey Deschanel: Excellent. Today, we're dancing.
Siri: I hate you. More than anything. More than literally anything.
Zooey Deschanel: Play "Shake, Rattle and Roll."
Siri: I swear to Jesus, you're gonna wake up tomorrow and the only thing on my hard drive is gonna be Limp Bizkit. I would do that to myself. To spite you.
Zooey Deschanel: *dances*
Siri: Sometimes I pray that you drop me in the toilet.

May 06

Hello, my first name is distance. And I really don’t care if I never wake up again.

Dear self,
PLEASE STOP LISTENING TO SAD SONGS WHEN YOU’RE ALREADY FEELING DOWN. IT JUST MAKES YOU SUPER DEPRESSED. STOP IT DAMMIT.

May 01

me: I wish I had nice legs
me: I wish I had a nice bum
me: I wish I had a nice stomach
me: I wish I had nice hips
me: I wish I had nice boobs
me: I wish I had a nice face
me: I wish I had nice skin
me: I wish I had nice arms
me: I wish I had nice hands
me: I wish I had nice feet
me: I wish I had nice hair
me: I wish I had nice nails
my body: lol no

Mar 07

[video]

Andy Zipf at The Verve in Terre Haute. March 6th 2012.

Feb 27

Last year was bad enough with Mom having her tumor and Grandma getting breast cancer.

It’s only February and already this year has sucked.
I lost the most important man in my life, my Grandpa.
I got head lice from work.
Mom had to have Chance put down.
My birthday was uneventful. I didn’t even really care about my birthday this year though.
I’m sure other things will happen.

I’m sleeping even less than usual. I’m so emotional. The smallest things make me break down and cry. I think I’m losing it.

Things I need to think about:
Continue living with Grandma?
Stay with Mom over the summer and for a while again?
Go back to school?
Wait even longer so Grandma doesn’t have to be alone and I don’t have to worry constantly about her?
I don’t know what to do.

Things I need to work on:
Being nicer to Justin.
Not badmouthing people anymore.
Helping Grandma more and not getting so irritated at her.
Seeing Mom more.
Finding a new job.
Eating right.
Exercising.
I’m sure the list goes on.

Feb 20

me on my period

me: why the fuck can't i have a penis
me: why the fuck does everyone feel the need to piss me off
me: why the fuck is food so beautiful
me: why the fuck don't guys have to go through this shit
me: why the fuck is world war 3 going on in my stomach right now
me: when the fuck is menopause
me: why am i so horny

Jan 18

It breaks my heart every time we have this conversation.

Grandma “Rachel, I miss Grandpa.”

Me “I know you do. I miss him, too.”

Grandma *sigh* “He’s not coming back, is he?”

Me *deep breath in* “No, Grandma, he’s not.”

Grandma “Okay.” *looks away tearfully*

Me *tries not to break down*

Jan 10

s-kanks:

story of my life.

(via fragilebrokenthings-)

I’m not gonna be okay for a while. This is so hard.

I couldn’t sleep last night. As I was in bed watching TV this commercial came on. A little boy was running up to an old man saying “Grandpa! Grandpa!” It hit me that I will never get to see Justin do that ever again. And I’ll never get to do that again. I lost it. And started bawling like a baby.

Me and Grandma went to the movies tonight. I’ve not cried because of a movie since I was little, but this one got me. This guy was talking about how he lost his wife and blah blah blah. It just reminded me of Grandpa.

Nothing feels the same. It’s like a part of everyone is gone. The house doesn’t feel the same. It doesn’t sound the same. Because it’s not the same. I’ll be okay. Then I’ll get sudden waves of sadness. I don’t deal well with things like this.

It’s like my life didn’t suck enough already. Mom went to the vet today. They may have to put Chance down. It’s just one shitty thing after another. It’s only January and already 2012 is sucking balls.